Oh God

30 Seconds To Mars *****
Enter Shikari *****
Funeral Party *****
The O2 arena

Leto. God? Nah, wanker.

All a bit embarrassing to admit I was there. But I was. It felt odd. Actually, it was odd. But I'll keep it brief. A full house on a chilly night at the big round tent full of shops and restaurants. The vast majority of whom appeared not to have grown their first pubic hair. 

Unsettling. And odd. Very odd.

Unlike Shikari, Funeral Party weren't even allowed to stand up on the skinny stage of humiliation...

First up were Funeral Party. A kind of post hardcore, pop punk, indie noise machine with some tunes. Not bad. Not my kind of thing. But not bad.


Then some drummers came and, well, drummed.


A hush descended and a few shouts of Shikari filled the vast upturned Dutch Cap.The beloved St Albans din makers were up next. The crowd had swelled to pretty much three quarters full. I was actually quite looking forward to this incongruous billing. I've been watching Shikari since they were as young as most of the crowd in venues like The Astoria, The fantastic Astoria 2, Their first headline show at Brixton Academy, festival tents, venues that resembled scout huts (on reflection, they probably were) and tiny sweaty rooms. But the O2? Supporting a blue haired evangelist adonis? Told you it was odd.

 St Albans' finest freshly squeezed

The first thing that struck me was the fact that the boys were teetering on about 18" of stage in front of a billowing enormous sail-like curtain. I was sitting way from the madding crowd to one side (yes, sitting!) and from my vantage point could see the area behind the billowing enormous sail-like curtain was absolutely huge. In Newsround stylee, about half the size of a football pitch with a couple of double decker buses thrown in.

This really was a master/servant relationship. I remember when bands would be happy giving their support shitty sound and a slightly chaotic backline plonked in front of their menacing looking rig. 


Not here. If they could, they'd have put them in a separate room.

White billowing sail-like curtain. Oh and Rou.

So, the lights went down, lots of tweets, burbles, dub-steppy brown noise and other sonic wallpaper kicked off. 


The lads tiptoed onto their sliver of stage and, well, kicked arse.


A short set but packed with energy, bounce, bass drops, buttock-clenching, heart-stopping dub step interludes and big guitar work from Rory did the job. And then some.

Oh my, how pits have changed. Sigh.

Solidarity kicked the whole thing off, Mothership became Motherstep having been given a brush up on Rou's Korg box of buttons and Kaos, Sorry You're Not A Winner got the house really going, Havoc and the new one Destabilize worked, but why oh why did they feel the need to do the drippy load of old tut that is Gap in The Fence? Unnecessary and unwanted. Thankfully they ended with a raucous working of the mighty Juggernauts which got the pit going, albeit a terribly polite kiddy pit - a far cry from The Astoria 2's Hadean tour de force a couple of years ago. All-in-all,  they filled this big old shed with a big old noise and did it with aplomb. 


Now they're independent again, I look forward to a shift back towards the dirty and exciting buckets of racket they made on their magnificent first album. On this showing, they've still got that something special.


I said I'd be brief. I lied. But I will be now. 30STM? Don't really know what to say. So I'll do it in 50 words:

Leto...Wanker.

Blue hair. Messianic. Entertaining. Wank. Mass girlie hysteria. Nuremburg Rally. Self-indulgent. Impressive light show. Wank. Tunes. Singalongs. Jesus. Pointing. Waving. Jumping. Lots of jumping. Energy. Wank. Showman. Screams. Fizzy knickers. Tame. Wank. Evangelistic. Worrying. Fascist. Wank. More jumping. Love-in. Masturbation. Onanism. Wank. Wank. Wank.


But you know what? It was quite enjoyable. And I'd rather have our future generations watching this big, fairly anodyne, but undoubtedly clever and well put together loud rock and roll rather than Take That. 

Leto...Wanker

It was a big wank though.


Songs? Oh yeah, they did the ones we all know. Ones about Kills, ones about maps of the world, ones about being closer to the edge. Ending with the Gary Glitter party on stage for the one about Kings and Queens.


Odd indeed.

Leto...Wanker.

Sorry, couldn't resist, latest vid from the genius that is Proceed. 

Oh, and a fantastic new acoustic version of A Pointless Voyage. Class.


Curious Acoustic by PROCEED

The Vool next. 


More tunes soon, Bwoooar!