Monday, 9 September 2013

Safety catch - The Safety Fire Live at The Garage

The Safety Fire ***1/2**
Zoax*****
Upstairs at The Garage, Islington, Wednesday 4th September

A warm night in a tiny, sweaty scout hut. Now all we need is some loud rock and roll.




Zoax*****

As if by magic Zoax appear,

Fronted by the engaging and affable Oirishman Adam Carroll who looks unnervingly like Robbie Williams with a strong, enormous hipster beard, the rag-bag quintet take to the tiny stage and deliver a loud, brash, entertaining bag of bombs that veers somewhere between A Day To Remember, LetLive, Black Flag and is even spiced up with scents and hints of Defeater.

And it works. Despite the weird and wooly rag and bone yard of disparate influences, there's enough originality here to raise an eyebrow or two. An enthusiastic crowd laps up moments of old skool metalcore, New Jersey Hardcore, tech metal and bollocks-out punkiness. There's even a bit of Oirish scat/rap (well talking really) thrown in.




Carroll is a born front man, getting right in the bosom of the crowd, firing off quick witted snaps and quips and looks totally at home. His voice ranges between deep, spitfire engine growls and roars to lighter, more melodic stretches. All backed by some fearsome noise, rhythms and, at times, quite techy playing from his bandmates balanced on the low coffee table-sized rostrum.

All good stuff. Look forward to seeing them again in a proper sized venue.





The Safety Fire ***1/2**
As the splendid new Karnivool album being played on the PA fades down, the crowd raises its own noise and welcomes Sean McWeeney and his tech troubadours onto the McWeeniest stage in Christendom. 

I'm never sure about this venue. It really has the vibe of a church hall or scout hut with its low, oppressive roof and tiny stage, which is almost a floor show. And I've never really experienced good sound here. Anyway, it's rammed tonight as London's techy metally djenty proggy darlings aim to blow its ceiling skywards.

Opening with the brilliant Yellowism from the stunning new album Mouth Of Swords, the party gets well and truly started.

The sound is huge. But there's the rub. It's just too huge for this outhouse bog of a venue. The space, dynamic, breadth and general force of the beautifully played and intricately delivered wares become a bit of a condensed and compressed din. Backed with harmonies, pads and god knows what emanating from a Macbook precariously balanced next to the actual bog, the overall effect is sadly somewhat disappointing. It's like having a Ferrari in the garden shed or a Eurofighter in a broom cupboard.



Nothing to do with the band or the playing. They're right on it. And stunning. And McWeeny, who boasts one of the most flexible, wonderful and brilliant voices in the biz, is on top form too. Not missing a note. Well, at least I don't think he does; because the muddiness and vastness of the sound renders the whole thing awkward to listen to properly.

The breakdowns and beats are searing enough. The lead guitar shredding work is splendid. But it reminds me of trying to listen to a Stravinksky's Rite Of Spring on a distorting transistor radio turned up to 11. You know the talent and the importance are there, but you're kind of filling in gaps.

That all said, the show goes on apace and the crowd don't seem to care about the ill-fitting tight venue on such a magnificent frame. There are pits aplenty, bouncing and even heaps of old skool headbanging. Beware The Leopard (Jagwar) is a particular highlight (despite the screamy lows of BTBAM's Tommy Rogers being delivered by the Macbook and the crowd as, in the words of McWeeney, the fucker couldn't be here) and along with material from the first album, including the massive and squealy Huge Hammers, the set is a perfect mix of bludgeon, beauty and bollock-squeezing power.

Fabulous band. Just can't wait to see them somewhere where their sound fits properly and they haven't had to squeeze it into a muddy size 6 mini dress. Shame.

More tunes soon. Bwoooar!

Saturday, 7 September 2013

Arc the herald angels don't usually sing. Arc Tan Gent Festival Live Review


Arc Tan Gent Festival *****
Fernhill Farm Somewhere in the bowels of Somerset 29-31st August

So it's finally here. A festival for all the weirdies. All the unclassifiable ones. All the ones who can clap in time. The ones with beards. And plaid. 

Joking aside, since it was announced by the good people behind the mighty 2000 Trees, Arc Tan Gent has been one of the most fiercely anticipated and important festivals in years.  

It's a collection of off-beat, alternative (in the true sense of the word) diverse, challenging, brilliant, quirky and outré acts (mainly from our sceptred isles) that forms the perfect antidote to the banal and predictable gruel served up at most of the myriad of carbon copy corporate calamities crammed to the gills with Clapham-dwelling, Bulmers drinking, flowery wellie-wearing, Kings Of Leon-listening, Superdry-sporting, faceless, tasteless ISA investing, BMW-driving dicks. And it's here. Thank the fucking lord.

In keeping with the slightly off-beat theme, things kick off a day early with a limited line up culminating in a fan-voted set from Leicester's post rock dahlinks, Maybeshewill. And the crowds have poured in for the warm up day, filling the verdant Fernhill fields from the word go.


THURSDAY
Before we tumble into the music on offer, it's worth pointing out just how brilliantly this festival is set up. It's quite small but doesn't feel pokey. The vibe is fantastic. Über-friendly in and laid back in the extreme (aided by THC no doubt). Everyone is here for the music. Not a right of passage, a gap year gas or bucket list box ticking exercise.

The layout is well thought through (with the possible exception that the impressive main stage may have been slightly better placed in the bowl of the natural amphitheatre rather than perched atop its side - probably drainage issues to be fair). But the food concessions, merch, other stores and stages are perfectly appointed. Could have done with a few more bogs though.


Right, music. Given the daunting task of opening the whole junket are local trio Memory Of Elephants ***** and they do a sterling job. A tremolo-infused post noise rocky din switching between two guitars and a bass and guitar and serving up the already packed tent a great aperitif.

Obviously, even with the best intent in the world, it's impossible to catch every act, but from the snippets I catch, ensuing (and from what I can glean, also local) acts Flights and Falling Stacks seemed to continue the vibe to an equally packed tent before Alright The Captain ***1/2** (replacing POHL) take to the boards. And they deliver a jazzy/mathy/proggy/post rocky/jagged and boisterous fusillade with wit, energy and spice. Tasty.


Next up are Hereford tribe Talons***1/2** violin and all. Which affords the band a bit of space between itself and some of the other post-rock acts around. And mercifully is used differently enough from tune to tune; not just as a pad or stringy fill. Stabby staccato and pizzicato, frenzied, almost Paganini-like cadenzas and melodic ersatz-vocal work sit happily above the intricate soundscapes provided by the more traditional instruments. A heady and interesting mix.

Talking of traditional, next up are the stoner, spacey, proggy, monged Amplifier *****. Dressed like something from a 70's Saturday night end of the pier spectacular or golf club dinner dance - resplendent in black shirts with snazzy matching amulets and serious faces, they (eventually, after starting 10 minutes or so late - TCH? Surely not) kick off into a set with the bong water infused with everything from Into The Void era Sabbath, Intronaut, A Perfect Circle, Uriah Heep and even touches of The Buggles if they were backing Tool. 

Occasional big-arsed half time riffs and repetitive, head bobbing inducing chuggy bombs rear their alien heads from forgotten decades and Sel Balamir's spacey lyrics provide a sprinkle of even more mind-altering weirdness to proceedings. An often bizarre and somewhat uncomfortable, but not wholly unpleasant, trip. Man.


So, next up and now in front of a fully rammed and overspilling tent it's the turn of the delicious Maybeshewill****1/2* The fan-voted set throws up few surprises and every riff, passage and melody is fervently sung back by a baying, salivating crowd. The spine-tingling Red Paper Lanterns and melodic hook overloaded I'm In Awe Amadeus are personal high spots, but the set is jammed with beauty, depth, goosebump-inducing progressions all  delivered with wonderful craft and genuine enjoyment. 

The love in the tent is just huge and serves as a great big good night snog and a hug for all the happy campers (despite not quite reaching the vinegar stroke of the last number due to the over-running of the bong-water drinking Amplifier). Awesome stuff indeed. And so to bed. Well, after a bit of a party.

FRIDAY
So, thanks mainly to Cotswold Cider and Montepulciano, Friday shuffles into focus shrouded in a hazy fug and the impressive main stage crackles into life for the first time. To be honest the delicious locally smoked bacon roll and coffee accounted for missing most of the openers The Naturals, but they seem to draw in a reasonable crowd from the rapidly swelling day one proper numbers. 


But it's Baby Godzilla***** who really shake off the collective post-party torpor with a fantastic, aggressive, mayhem-strewn kick in the face set of punky, hardcore-hued anthemic, grizzly and uplifting noise. This lot look like the band that a family in Shameless would have been. You know, the noisy bastard neighbours with overgrown front garden strewn with rusty car parts, old bikes, piles of pizza boxes and beer cans who spend the day just shouting at each other.

The two feral front men spend more of their time off the stage than on it taking instruments and mics into the throng. Climbing gantries, using crowd members as mic stands, throwing guitars around, even - and quite brilliantly - giving a guitar to a member of the crowd to play through one song. And - remarkably - it hangs together. A shell shocked early congregation enters fully into the spirit and they really have set the bar high for the day. 

And by the time the last guitar makes its way back onto stage, shorn of strings and looking like most people's hungover heads, the fug has truly been lifted and smiles have replaced any dehydrated downturned mouths. Brilliant stuff.

Right, hangover confined to history, time to properly ease into what's going to be a long day. Over to the second stage for Leeds-based stoner psychedelic progmeisters Humanfly*****
A reasonable early crowd has gathered by the time the interstellar overdrive button is pressed and our trippy journey begins. 

What follows is an eye-closing, mind expanding, head bobbing voyage of wonder. So many influences could be cited from Floyd to Greenslade, Caravan to Return To Forever. But, the bizarre thing is, that despite the rock, jazz, fusion, prog and stoner lineage, it still feels kind of fresh. Even original. 

John Sutcliffe's light and ethereal vocals struggle a tiny bit this early but the band are tight, sharp and totally loving it. There's a comfort and warmth; almost a nostalgia in the air as they power through lengthy, multi-layered and faceted spacey flight. And I can't get the grin off my face. Can't wait to see them in a dingy late night sweaty room with a proper lightshow, Just what the Doctor Seuss ordered. 

So, feeling as metaphorically stoned thanks to the Humanfly big fat human one, it's time to return to some mathy, post-rock. And who better to ease the come down than East Midland scene stalwarts You Slut!*****

Their poppy, dancy undercurrent is supported by choppy, techy, intricate time signature noodling and syncopated polyrhythms but the overall effect is far from inaccesible; in fact the opposite. Despite the counting and the oft complex constructs, this is good time fuck yeah fuel. And the tent knows it. A packed Bixler tent laps it up greedily and the affable quartet seem humbled by it. But the adoration is fully deserved with early afternoon perspiration and dopamine levels soaring off the chart. Bloody marvellous.

Following on from You Slut! on the Bixler stage are Brighton-based trio Physics House Band ***** A beautiful and stealthy start with a duel between keys and bass, refereed by an inquisitive drummer suddenly blossoms into a set of true majesty. 

Adam Hutchison's mesmerising bass playing is the glue that holds the amazing tour-de-force together. I have seldom seen such brilliance from one so young. It's impossible to cast aside comparisons with a young Stanley Clarke: this guy is the nuts. However, in fairness it's not all about him. He's abetted by the multi instrumentalist  and wonderfully monikered Sam Organ on guitar and various keys and noise making rigs and the sharp drumming of Dave Morgan provides a remarkable trellis for the music to climb all over.

This is top drawer music. In any category. Flying wildly between genres, taking in jazz fusion, funk, prog, mathcore and general neo-classical modernism, it's quite simply astonishing. 

shoe gazing. man.

Back to the main stage for a much needed post-Physics House Band coital chill at the hands of kentish soundscapers Yndi Halda***** I love this lot, but (my fault) they've dropped off my radar a little recently, so I don't know what they've been up to since the last time I saw them supporting the mighty and much missed Oceansize. 

Their magnificent album Enjoy Eternal Bliss is right up there on my most played list and thankfully they soothe us with works culled  from it this fine afternoon. But, dammit,  there's a load of new stuff on show that I'm unaware of. And it mainly includes vocals. Not that that's a bad thing by any means. It's just caught me off guard. But the vibe is, as always beautiful and mellow without being soporific. A perfect late afternoon balm. Eternal Bliss indeed.


Complete change of pace needed. Prescription: 
Sheffield's mighty noise canons Rolo Tomassi ****1/2* 

I'm beginning to fall deeply in love with this festival. While, on the face of it, there appear to be a lot of very similar bands on the bill, it's dawning on me that there's such staggering diversity and startling cleverness in the curation that any initial apprehension or preconceptions were as specious as they were misplaced. Proof, if needed is delivered in spades by the Spence siblings and their noisenik crew. 

A brisk and wonderful set shows off the delicious Eva Spence's baffling Jekyll and Hyde Schizophrenia: on one hand delightful, seductive, ethereal chanteuse - on the other: a rusty box of napalm stuffed with tacks, shards of glass and fuck-off thorns and thistles with a sonic output like a Superbike with a knackered silencer.

But, as always, it works. A good range of old favourites and the newer, slightly more sophisticated work from the stunning Astraea spellbind the crowd. And the band look as though they're thoroughly enjoying themselves too; bopping, writhing, jumping, looning and grinning their way through their jazzy, alt, mathy, poppy melange. 

Because of bill congestion and slight overlaps, it all gets a bit frantic for a bit, but I do manage to grab a solid earful of the ever-brilliant Brontide***** on a rammed Bixler stage complete with Nathan Fairweather making the same dash from Rolo Tomassi's main stage triumph to take up the four strings for the post-rock kings. They truly are leaders of a very talented pack and tonight they cement themselves into that position with the adoring masses.


Back on the main stage (or was it before - all getting a bit much thanks to Jager, Cider, the last of the Montepulciano and 'Humanfly'), it's time for Maybeshewill ***** again. 

This time a slightly different set, but delivered with the same passion and pleasure to a much bigger crowd than last night's intimate kick off.

The neck hairs are up again. The collective goosebumped flesh makes the crowd look like a Bernard Matthews plucking shed and the thousands of doe-eyed faces must hurt from smiling. This is just wonderful. And as the sun is setting in the heart of Somerset, there isn't a dry eye in the field as the monumental shimmering beauty of some of the world's finest melodic post-rock enraptures and mesmerises. It truly doesn't get much better than this.


So, still bathing in the total beauty of Maybeshewill, it's time for yet anther change of stage and mood. Quirky Londoners Public Service Broadcasting***1/2** are headlining the Bixler stage with their kooky audio visual, post Kraftwerk, automaton triggered, Orwellian/Kafkaesque prole-tertainment smorgasbord. And the gathered citizens and denizens tuck in greedily. There's a dry humour thoroughout with even the 'banter' between tunes synthesized. But the overall effect is one of energization and this is as near as Arc Tan Gent has got to a rave yet with lots of lost souls losing their collective shit; albeit in a slightly controlled and middle-England kind of way. One imagines the smartly turned out band members would approve of the restraint and decorum. 


I'll be honest, Much as I love 65DaysofStatic***** I only manage to stay upright for a portion of their stunning set before needing a late evening safety nap. But the light show and huge crowd do their best to keep me together enough to get stuck in to the vibe for long enough to crack my face from smiling yet again. I'd be lying like a cheap korean watch if I could remember exactly what they play. But it is, as always splendid. I think. Oh fuck it. Time for another Jager bomb and  the silent disco.

The Silent Disco*****
if you weren't there, I'm not going to even begin to explain. Just, fuck.


SATURDAY
Oh god.

No, really. Oh God.

Right, got to man up. There's heads to nod. Beards to stroke. Shoes to gaze at. Coffee to be drunk. Bacon to be gobbled. Hmmmm, bacon.

So, after, what can only be described as a 'sketchy' night, it's time to start all over again. And what better way to ease away the toxins than with a saunter down to the sun-soaked main stage for some soothing tunes. 

Things kick off with a space psych noodling and pleasant enough wake up at the hands of ANTA***** who draw a surprisingly healthy (in numbers not physical condition, clearly) early crowd who bob along to their mashed up time signature other-worldly din.

Hot on the space winged heels of ANTA are Delta Sleep*****
And this eclectric crew move things up (and pace wise, down) a notch or two. A sophisticated cocktail of post-rock vibes with towering repetitive, hummable passages that would grace an early Radiohead long player set to an, at times almost jazzy rhythmic backdrop with inevitable alt influences swimming to the surface. 

Think Colours or Tubelord (without the hysteria) mixed with moments of Reuben but with a Brontide-like modular construction. God, that sounded pretentious. Sorry. Anyway, heady and fabulous stuff. And the perfect companion to more yet more Cotswold cider. 

Continuing with the laconic, spiritual and glorious sunny morning vibe, next up are the cello-driven Pirate Ship Quintet***1/2** And they continue the group seduction with a chilled, multi-layered and textured blanket of loveliness. Hmmm.

Vessels***** do their Vessels-like thing next and manage to hold on to what's becoming a nomadic crowd while entertaining them with a splendid tapestry of big harmonic and melodic huggery.


But it's TTNG***** who really get Saturday smiling. And, indeed, probably the whole weekend. A totally spellbinding and magical smirkfest beguiles and stupefies the huge crowd. They are in their own perfect bubble. Not rushed, phased, worried or seemingly aware of what's around them. But not in a distant or an aloof way. In fact, completely the opposite. They are charming, engaging, enthralling and delightful. Tim Collis's legendary and peerles tapping, sliding, intricate and totally effortless brilliance on the guitar provides the canvas on which his brother Chris's sublime drumming and Henry Tremain's delicious vocals and equally majestic fretwork paint masterpiece after masterpiece.

Breaths are genuinely taken away and a hazy mass delirium settles on the bucolic Saturday afternoon pastoral scene. An absolute privilege to be here and one of the most genuinely memorable and beautiful experiences imaginable. Genius. Just genius.


Now this is the only major clash bummer of the weekend. Who, in their right mind wouldn't want to see the incredible and other worldly majesty of Nordic Giants? Who? Well, no one. But a major gaff on the line up meant that I only catch the merest whiff of the moving brilliance which is a real sickener.

So, sad, but undaunted, I reach for one of the best possible cures: the ever-brilliant Arcane Roots****1/2* Now, the clash gods have also been unkind to Kingston's world class trio and the Bixler tent is not as full as they rightly deserve. 

Unbothered, Mssrs Groves, Burton and Atkins climb into a fizzing and aggressive set which gets the pits opening up and arms and legs flailing like a speed dictation exercise at a sign language conference. All hell breaks loose and the huge-bollocked riffology of Resolve, the visceral madness of Second Breath, the sing-a-long glory of You Are and the utter arrhythmia-inducing set closer Million Dollar Que$tion are among the highlights of the whole weekend. Amazing stuff, amazing band. Slightly out of water among the post rock math fish in this particular lake, but a fabulous and engaging performance. As always.

Another traipse back to the main stage, this time to be wowed by the ever-sensational Three Trapped Tigers*****

It's always tempting to put  fantasy supergroups together when you see so many brilliant bands in such close proximity. But, despite there being such an embarrassing wealth of amazing drummers on show (however expected that might be at such a tech/prog/math event) Adam Betts will always be first on the team sheet. He is, to put it mildly, one of the most incredible dummers on the planet. 

It's as disingenuous as it is unfair to label TTT as Bett's band, but he is the prima ballerina. The controlling genius midfielder. The general. The showy-offy, better than everybody else, goody two shoes, creepy bum-lick bastard. And what a show he and his two buddies Tom Rogerson and Matt Calvert put on.

Putting the noise into noise-rock, they assault every organ. Overload every sense. Hyper-excite every nerve ending. Huge sub bass growls, brown-notes, spiralling arpeggios and thudding, teeth-rattling riffs completely captivate and seduce the bewildered but beguiled crowd. It's not the stuff you put on the hi-fi at a standard semi-detached house party, but man, it rocks and given the adoration and adulation it engenders this evening its certainly a party starter in this part of town. Er, country.

A quick mention again about the festival in general, but mainly the food. As already mentioned, the organisation and layout is bang on, but I just want to run the rule over the spectacular food: Dorset Smokery ***** amazing bacon Pie Minister***** pies don't come much pie-ier. Delicious. The Fernhill Farm Outlet ***** Honestly, the tastiest shoulder of lamb I've ever tasted. Sublime. Glastonbury Wood Fired Pizza Van Thing ***** Pizza From a wood burning oven. Say no more. Apart from Pepperoni. Hmmm. Cotswold Cider ***** Hic.

On the home straight now. And what better way to start winding things up than with Ulster's triumphant instrumental legends ASIWYFA*****?

Right from the off, there's a super-special vibe in the absolutely crammed main stage. Barriers are broken down (and lovingly restored by the terribly well-behaved but seriously rowdy crowd) as the human remains in this Somerset field collectively lose their shit.

The band look as though they've never been happier as they stride through a masterful set jammed as full as a bull's bum with explosiveness, joy, vim, power, passion, energy and bucketloads of fun. As atmosphere goes, this is the one this weekend. There is a telepathy between the crowd and the band. It's like the masses of gyrating, thrashing and whirling bodies are sync-linked to the sound output. It's truly awesome to be part of. Pits, moshing, dancing, gay abandon. Heavenly oneness. A true musically and heart-driven shared experience never to be forgotten. World class.

Well, that's me done. Try to get into a rammed tent for the always excellent Tall Ships***** but have to settle for watching them from afar (see what I did there?). They're bloody good to be fair. Have a look at Bo Ningen***** Nah. Not happening. Go to see Fuck Buttons***** Not my kind of thang. Too many computers. Not enough real. But impressive light show. But, after ASIWYFA, nothing is going to work. Even a Zeppelin reunion. So to the Shisha tent. Hmmm. Humanfly.

Crashed. Burned. Staggered. Astonished. Spellbound. Fucked. What a totally amazing weekend stuffed with some of the very best music one could ever hope to be exposed to. 

A total triumph of curation, organisation and delivery. Need to recover before next year. Can't wait.

Bring it on.


More tunes soon. Bwoooar!










Pictures and shit: Because my phone ran out of charge earlier than expected, I've had to 'liberate' some of the pics used in this post from other sources including screen grabs and stills. I hope you don't mind. Would have been even duller without them. Don't send me to jail. I don't want to shower with Mr Big. Or play mummies and daddies.





Friday, 6 September 2013

Gallows Humour - Live review of Gallows and The Hell at The Macbeth


Gallows ****1/2*
The Hell *****
Rough Hands *****

The Macbeth, Hoxton, London 22nd August 2013





Rough Hands *****

So, first up on a night of a noble cause supporting one of London's most important and down-to-earth venues, are sarf Londoners Rough Hands. 

With snarling front man Alex Dench leading his rag bag pack, it looks like we're in for a proper hardcore violation. 

But it doesn't quite come to the boil. There's heat and simmering, but no searing spitting venom. Punk and its ugly close relatives thrive on insulting, violating, appalling, disgusting, disturbing, unsettling, spellbinding and defiling. But the overwhelming feeling tonight is all a bit half cocked. Don't get me wrong, they're not half bad at what they do. There's energy, grind and chop. But maybe they're just a bit too nice.

A prawn cocktail before a naga-infused razor blade vindaloo. 


The Hell *****
Cunts.





Gallows ****1/2*
The ghost of the tattooed ginger ninja long gone, Mr McNeil and the pared-down, nu-Gallows (now sans both Carters) shamble onto the stage in front of a heaving room full of strong beards, wife-beaters, snap-backs, rucksacks, lager and Nikes.

And they blow the bloody back doors off.

A vicious and violent set is beautifully orchestrated. Old tunes, new tunes, big tunes, bad tunes, loud tunes, spleen-splitting tunes. All sung back at maximum Dbs by the adoring, tumult of writhing punksters and miscreants.

This is one of the best shows I've seen Gallows deliver, and by the fervour of the assembled army, I don't think it's a lone opinion.

Stage diving, surfing, invading and mic-hijacking all add to the chaotic, disturbia.

One of the most important and influential punk outfits ever to be born are certainly growing up and out. And despite the leaner line up, their sound tonight has a more jagged, cleaner, sharper and more poisonous than ever feel. And, unlike the surprisingly nice Rough Hands, Gallows truly are insulting, violating, appalling, disgusting, disturbing, unsettling, spellbinding and defiling. And bloody brilliant.

More tunes soon.

Bwoooar!


Sunday, 4 August 2013

Ash in The Pan. Burnout Festival live review.

Burnout Festival (The Ashes)
The Anvil
Bournemouth Saturday 27th-Sunday 28th July

Right, let's get the grotty stuff out of the way first. The regrettable cancellation of what was potentially the UK's best small festival line up with around 80 bands over three stages over a couple of days at the seaside. A genuine tragedy for all concerned, the bands, the fans the organising team, and in particular Dom Patience the main man and brainchild behind the event. A more genuine man you couldn't choose to meet. And a genuine music man through and through. 

The reasons for cancellation were candidly and heartbreakingly broken by the team only 5 or so days before the event. Poor ticket sales being the premier spanner in the works. Maybe not totally unsurprising given the clash with relatively local Redfest with many of the bands due to appear here also on the bill in Redhill. Add in the almost uncontrollable heated bacterial growth of the number of festivals up and down the country at this time of year and things were always going to be tough.

That all said, it's to Patience's enormous credit that he rallied around and persuaded half a dozen bands on each night to heroically volunteer their services for free. So further big ups to all the talent who so generously put their shoulders behind Patience to make the weekend become unmissable.

Ok, that's the last time we'll mention all that malarky. So on with the shows.

But first a brief word about the Anvil. This is a small venue. Brilliant. But small. No, really small. Fritzl's dungeon small. It makes the Barfly look like Madison Square Gardens. But armed with a sizeable bugger of a front of house PA, what it lacks in size, it makes up for with balls. Anyway, onwards... 


Saturday



Shockmaster *****
Kicking off proceedings in the dungeon are the brain-wronged skate punk bin men Shockmaster with the ever-loveable and cheeky bastard Mike Foster driving the dysfunctional dustcart. 

A short, fiery, fun-filled bombardment including new fast ones and new slow ones and even a skirmish with death metal (which could have been lifted from The Hell's savage new album download it here) serve as a perfect appetiser for the good-sized sweaty crowd. Foster is in hilarious form. Witty, quick, endearing, ribald and always beguiling. And although I can't work out whether they're just a novelty act, they're really not bad. In a brain-wronged skate punk bin men kind of way. 

Have a listen to their latest Steve Sears Jr-produced  EP here and you'll get the picture.

Tasting notes: They remind me of that rotten pickled cabbage stuff that Koreans eat; Kim Chi. On the face of it, bloody horrible, but somehow irresistible.




Earth Eater *****
A right old interesting melange. Flash, heavy riffs, growly powerful aggressive vocals, big rhythm section. More Parkway Crescent than Parkway Drive, but energetic, tight and even throw in a solo. Had a few sound issues but brave and engaging effort.

Tasting notes: A hot and relatively subtly spiced, fiery bowl of devilled offal. A bit confusing but with enough difference to generate interest. Nothing too startlingly original but pretty tasty all said.





Emily Wilson ***1/2**
Next up on this mainly hardcore/punky/brutal evening is the diminutive but huge-piped Emily Wilson and her band. Anomalous and incongruous as though their blend of frothy pop rock is on a night like tonight, it's actually rather jolly good.

Cleanly sparkling in among the torn flesh, briars, napalm and vicious weaponry of the other acts, her voice is majestic; hitting every note and soaring above the chuggy Bon Jovi/Rainbow MOR dad rock her backing band thump out effortlessly. The songs are hooky, backed with laptop-triggered strings, harmonies and pads and despite a dreadfully out of tune acoustic guitar on a nostalgic pared-down number about being 17, the set is polished and tasty. Out of the same biscuit tin as Portia Conn and even slight hints of Paramore chocolate chips. Cracking voice though.

Tasting notes: Silky but not sickly. One of those enormous cartoon book ice cream sundaes, but spiked with sneaky bits of raw meat and the occasional shard of glass. 


Palm Reader *****
So, after the schmoove pop rock grooves of Emily Wilson, it's time to strip to the waist, don the war paint and get into some brutal hand-to-hand combat in the swampy dungeon. The AC unit is spewing out a stream of water to add to the steamy, brooding Louisianna backwoods Deliverance feeling. I fear for my anus.


Despite ongoing mic problems, front man man Josh Mckeown leads his horrible horde into a savage assault. The crowd move up a gear turning into a seething, boggy murky lake of sweaty humanity baying back the words and swallowing up Mckeown into its guts.

Palm Reader force feed themselves on metal, hardcore, vicious punk, claymores, flick knives and caustic soda then bulimically vomit the malodorous and fiery fois gras gack all back into the swirling swamp; and they slurp up the unholy mixture greedily.

One of the human swamp actually gets stark bollock naked at one point; to win an anorak. Standard. Which sums up the stygian squalor of the set. Dark, fierce, mean and festering.

Tasting notes: a filthy but full-flavoured stew of red meat with bramble thorns, sharp gravel and bile reduced and enriched with chilli seeds and ear wax (and we all know how bitter that tastes don't we kids?). Disgusting, but bizarrely, hugely appetising.



Polar*****
Out of the same section of the illegal arms supermarket as buddies Palm Reader, Polar are the next nuclear fuel tipped into Fritzl's furnace. And they get things even hotter. Just when you think the level has reached its upper limit, the Guildford noseniks perform open heart surgery on the soggy, hyped up rabid crowd with a dirty crowbar, chainsaw and rusty razor blades. This is high energy, raw filth with big refrains and as near to hooks as hardcore can offer. 

The crowd, however do strangely start to wane a little as the relentless barrage continues and the mic, once more joins them in not getting fully involved. But Adam Woodford heroically powers on through, wringing what he can out of both the technology and the crowd. A full-on energetic set from one of the UK's most full-on energetic bunch of blokes.

Tasting notes: powerful and full-on chilli con carne with rusty tacks, rat poison and semtex served on a bed of mescalin infused maggots in a corroded jagged artillery shell casing. Fierce.




Heights****1/2*
Touring with both Palm Reader and Polar, Hertfordshire''s  brutal but quirky Heights are given the task of closing tonight's sweaty sodomy fest. There are obvious similarities to the other two bands, but their fare is more varied. More full of nuance and dare I say, subtlety. 

Their work appears more carefully crafted. There are more melodic moments. More light and shade. Don't get me wrong, they're still fearsome and dripping with ferocity but there are more textures. More depth. More intrigue.

The crowd are bullied back into life. Pyramids, circle pits, walls of death and general mayhem ensue with singer Alex Monty milking the adulation from the now dripping and wrung-out throng.

The classiest act of the night by a distance and set for bigger stages (although compared to here, that's not difficult). By the time the last bowel pummelling power chord and scream fades into the fuggy, humid haze there isn't an unsoaked shirt, an untortured limb or unhoarse throat in the subterranean reactor. Hot, heady and handsome stuff.

Tasting notes: On the face of it a what you'd expect deep brown, volcanic vindaloo-looking bowl of fire. But under the surface there's a huge variety of spices, colours and flavours. Quirky mixtures and brave juxtapositions of seemingly unworkable ingredients. But well fucking tasty.

Now for the after party...

Sunday.

Really glad I baled earlyish from on the after party. 

But still managed to appropriate a vast bin-shaped hangover.

Before I dive into today's bands, in keeping with last year's Burnout review where the mighty Shahi Raj got 5 stars, I thought I should run the rule over a local restaurant.




Dosa World *****
This year, it's the turn of Dosa World.

Clay oven-baked spicy fish. Think Tool. Sophisticated but big on flavour. With background quirky and original taste of Meet Me In St Louis. Mutton curry: deep, rich, delicious. Think Mastodon crossed with early Sabbath with a light sprinkling of Enter Shikari or At The Drive in. Devil potatoes: Definitely the Reuben of the meal. Like nothing else. Fiery but sweet in places. Merlot: think Chet Baker and Maybeshewill. Mellow with edge. Right that's quite enough of that, back to the real food...




Mike Foster*****
He's back. Flat cap 'n' all. But just with his acoustic this time and no fellow bin men. And funny as fuck. Skewy sidewipes at Nike dunk wearing hardcore kids, fun, wit, bant, sweat. Bin. Great start to the night.

Tasting notes: A zinger burger (remember them?) and a jumbo bucket of chicken wings. Served with spicy relish spiked with African Black Bush Giggle Grass or a Thai stick (ask your dad kids) oh, and some more of that Korean Kim Chi shit. Tasty fun.



Pump Action Radio *****
Next up we're treated to Fall Out Boy. Well, it might as well be. With perhaps a dash of Funeral For a Friend. Ok, maybe a bit unfair, but despite the apparent lack of total originality, these local lads bravely steam through a tight, drop tuned rocky punky set that showcases the singer's good, strong voice. Nowt too new but a good effort.

Tasting notes: Sugar coated vanilla with a comforting familiarity. No real bite or spice, but ultimately reasonably satisfying. More McDonalds than Michelin star.



Yearbook****1/2*
One of the absolute highlights of last year's Burnout, there's a real anticipation in the bunker as the kings of librarycore take to the stage.

Unlike the similarly young Pump Action Radio, Yearbook truly are original. Totally impossible to categorise, they bestride bundles of influences but usually only fleetingly. For a nanosecond you're being Weezered. Then, there's a sharp veering towards the choppy math rock of Brontide. But the very next moment there's the powerful aroma of Sikth or Flood Of Red. And the resultant melange is wonderful, heady and spellbinding.

They're so tight and full of chops and groove. Bolstered by big sphincter-loosening bass drops and illuminated by what looks like wartime searchlights. This is a sensory overload. 

However, Andy Halloway's normally über-impressive vocals, which famously effortlessly switch between crystal clear almost soprano to spine-shuddering screams and even rock diva are unfortunately a little off kilter tonight as even the emergency vocal spray fails to fully oil his mojo. Nevertheless, the enthusiastic crowd sing just about every word of the older tunes and Louis Martin the bass player, backing vox, head groundsman, bottle washer and lighting controller manfully steps in when it's just too challenging for Halloway's howls.

Saying that, there's well enough of the crooner's range that remains unaffected so the overall output is only minutely interfered with. Hamish Dickinson's drumming is razor sharp throughout and with Brooker and Halloway's duelling guitars being so umbilically linked, the overall effect is as mesmerising as it is delicious.

A couple of new tunes are thrown in among the crowd-pleasing favourites Visionary, Art Student, the raw and brilliant All Squares and Circles culminating with the not too regularly aired 3s and 6s. And it's brilliant. Simply, well, not really simply at all, brilliant.

Tasting notes: more of a surprising and complex cocktail than something to eat. Sharp, multi-layered, sophisticated yet playful and laced with mind-altering elixirs, unctions and magical potions. Impossible to accurately describe but astonishingly intoxicating. Cheers. Hic.



Idiom ***1/2**
Hairy pop/alt metal next. There are moments of generic fare, but they're fully outweighed by the overall variety in the offering. Ranging from dubby/rappy interludes to Robert Plantesque vocal gymnastics from singer Matt Sharland, Idiom have bags of energy and aren't afraid to mix old with new, optimistic daylight with doom laden dominatrix dungeon gloom and even unsavoury fisting with passionate caressing. And all delivered with genuine and honest passion.

Think Terrovision and Bullet For My Valentine's bastard lovechild brought up by Korn and forced to listen to A and REO Speedwagon but with Dimebag on guitar. A fucked up kid maybe, but genuinely interesting and refreshing. 

Tasting notes: Beer. Cold, pilsner beer. But mixed with  a foaming hoppy old farty Scruttock's ale. Then topped up with spiced rum. And washed down with after shave. A bit weird but ultimately powerful and distinctive. 



The Smoking Hearts *****
Smoking hearts on sleeve more like. You always know what you're going to get from Ben Mills and his noisy bastard sidekicks. And honest, frenzied, genuine and full-on passion fest. Certainly not dimmed lights, nibbles on the neck and chocolates passion; more like a clothes ripping salivating, screaming, chandelier-swinging brutalisation jiz explosion kind of passion. With a ski mask and a butt plug. And, ladies and gents, that's what we get tonight. No respite, no tenderness, no time to catch breath or sip from the flute of love. A sound fucking. Even with a brutal Rolling Stones cover thrown in as lube. Ow.

Tasting notes: Impossible to equate with food. More like a Lemmy-esque menu of bags of speed, handfuls of amphetamines, gallons of Jack Daniels, lashings of poppers and a cherry Bakewell. Without the cherry Bakewell. 



Arcane Roots *****
For these boys to agree to do this show speaks volumes about their support, not just for Mr Patience, but for music itself. After recently supporting Muse in European Stadia, having produced what's already clearly the album of the year and rapidly becoming the musicians' favourite musicians and careering headlong for what looks like well-deserved superstardom, the chance to see them perform in something the size of your nan's under stair cupboard is to much of a mind fuck to contemplate. But here they bloody well are.

The hum that kicks off Energy Is Never Lost just Redirected has become a staple of an AR set starter now and fuels the heightened anticipation of a now packed under stair cupboard.






Then it kicks off. The best part of an hour of total, unmitigated genius. The big numbers from Blood and Chemistry are given airings including the searing Sacred Shapes, the mega-chuggy half time infused Resolve and the delicious single Slow (sadly no Triptych as yet, but Mr Groves did promise to unveil its live glory at the fabulous Arc Tan Gent festival later this month). Old favourite You Are brings the house down as tapped riff as it lurches its head from the dreamy loch of Andrew Groves' improvised noodlings.  

Groves' incredible voice has never sounded better. The highs almost dog-whistle range and the control and soul is peerless. As always it's wonderfully counterpointed by Adam Burton's canine barks and growls. The hypnotised crowd lose their collective shit pretty much constantly throughout the set generating a superheated sweat box with cider and Sailor Jerry infused condensation dripping from the ceiling. And just about every word is sung back  passionately. What an end to a phenomenal and breathless weekend.

Arcane Roots are, without a doubt one of the very finest bands in the UK, no, fuck it, the world. After decades of going to literally hundreds, if not thousands of shows, I find it hard to recall anyone better. And on the strength of tonight's amazing performance, they're managing somehow to perfect perfection. Astonishing. Simply Astonishing.

Tasting notes: the finest hand-massaged fillet steak sizzled in the finest vintage Grand Cru Pauillac prepared by the finest chefs and served with the most piquant and eye-watering reduction imaginable. All class. But this is no languid, indulgent and gluttonous bacchanalian or sybaritic vulgar orgy; nah, it's psychopathically fucked up with meth, fire, brimstone, weapons grade uranium and so much scotch bonnet spice it makes your nob throb even without  touching it. Masterful.

So, that wraps up what was left of Burnout. I can't stress enough how amazing it was of all the bands to put their hands up to play over the weekend. Their selfless, ego-less support truly marks them out as genuine and remarkable human beings. The same obviously goes for Dom Patience and his small but dedicated team. 

Let's hope that he doesn't lose the faith that so many brilliant (and some shit) bands have benefitted from over the years. I know he has plans and dreams for next year. Let's hope they come true. For all our sakes.

In the meantime, here's a pissed up iPhone video thingy of the weekend.

More tunes soon, Bwoooar!